Not that anybody really cares about my boy problems, but whatever!
So last week, I hadn't talked to SM Jimmy for a while. I sent him a text message to see how he was doing and what was going on. I had been really busy with work, and really stressed out, so I decided to talk to the one person who can always make my day better. SM called me and instantly started pissing and moaning about how awful his week had been. He told me that he had been working long days and was getting yelled at by everybody and blah blah blah blah blah blah. During this conversation, I could tell that he was upset and had been drinking a little. He proceeded to tell me that he wasn't going to have any time for me for the next while, and that he was going to re-enlist in the Army for another 3 years. (That's a different subject, but whatever.)
He dropped an even bigger bombshell on me. He told me that he had been thinking about us lately and didn't know how he wanted to go forward.
Uh...............What? Am I missing something? Did SM really just break up with me, OVER THE PHONE???
I thought that everything was going well with us, but apparently I was fooling myself.
Needless to say, I cried like I have never cried before. I cried so hard, for so long, that I could barely breathe when I went back to the living room to watch a movie with my sister. She noticed that something was wrong, and obviously I started bawling again.
I then decided to go to the liquor store, in my pajamas, with tears and snot running down my face, and buy as much hard liquor as I could find. The guy behind the counter was very polite and very kind, and even took all of my stuff out to my car. I went home and decided that the best solution for a broken heart is heavy drinking. I decided to take a few shots and try to numb the pain and the emptiness that I felt.
Why can't men handle stress? Why do they turn into big pansies when they're sick or stressed out? Did it ever occur to him that my week had been just as bad, and mine wasn't even over yet? Huh?
I sent SM Jimmy a text message on Thursday night, and told him, "Since you implied that you don't want to be with me anymore, I would like all my stuff that I left at the barracks." On Friday morning, I was at work and was finally sitting in my office, and I get a message from him saying. "I did not say that I did not want to be with you."
OK! Let me go off on a little tangent really quick.
First of all, there are many things wrong with that last comment. If he doesn't have time for me and he doesn't know what he wants to happen between us, wouldn't that mean that he doesn't want to be with me anymore? I even asked a few guys, just to get their opinion, and they said that I was right. Who says what he said without meaning that they want to break up?
Secondly. Obviously I'm not that important to him, because he "doesn't have time for me." We make time for things that are important to us, and that we care about. I didn't have time for him when we first got together because I was working 2 jobs, but you know what? I MADE TIME, BECAUSE IT WAS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!
Now, back to the story.
I sat at my desk and thought about what to say in reply to his text message. I had so many emotions running through my body at that point in time (p.s. I had been up for over 24 hours, drinking and crying, so that added a lot of emotions.). I retorted with. "That's what you made it sound like, sorry." (I know that I shouldn't have said sorry, but the lack of sleep was getting to me and I was saying stupid things.) He came back with, "Was not trying to. I'll call you later."
So now it's been 2 days since I have had any sort of contact with him, and guess what? Still no phone call. DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'LL CALL ME, IF YOU AREN'T PLANNING ON CALLING ME!!! That makes you a liar and I hate liars.
I honestly hope that he does call me, because I have some choice words for him. He knows that my heart has been broken multiple times, and that it's hard for me to get close to somebody. When I finally got close to him, he decided to pull this shit. Stupid men!
So starting at this point in time, I am done with men. They are nothing but heartache, pain, and a reason to drink heavily. I hate them all! I know that I will end up loving them again, but right now, I don't. All I want to do is lock myself in a cold, dark room with a bottle of whiskey, and sleep and cry and hate men, ALONE!
So, all in all, life is peachy right now!
No comments:
Post a Comment