Nobody goes in to something new, hoping to fail. If they do hope to fail, what's the point in even trying... I was told by several people that I would be ok, because I'm smart. That offered little comfort. I don't like change, and I don't like surprises. I like to know exactly what's going on, so I can feel that I have some control of my situation.
Nobody told me that I would have to write a new paper every week. But only the first draft is due? When am I going to have time to write a second and/or final draft if I keep getting an assignment for a new paper? I enjoy the creative outlet, but I don't want to write a paper for the hell of it. If I wanted to have a creative outlet every week, I'd work on my book.
Along with starting college, I started on the sales floor at work. That is one change where I have absolutely no control of the situation. You can't make somebody buy shoes and not return them. It has been really exciting/stressful to start a new position at work and start college.
On top of all of that, I'm seriously dating somebody. We talk everyday, and he treats me well. He encouraged and supported my decisions to go to school and move to the sales floor. He tells me that I make him want to make some changes. He is my everything, and I don't know what I would do without him.
I have 3 major changes in my life and am trying to find some sort of balance. I can't work all the time, because I have a boyfriend and school. I can't focus completely on school, because I have bills to pay and a boyfriend. I can't spend every second with Matt, because that would get old fast. I'm trying to find a way to balance all of it. It is tougher than it seems.
Someday I'll figure it all out. For now, I'm just trying to hang on and not lose my mind.
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